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All of which speculation leads us to a rather fine point: what, exactly constitutes “novelty socks”? What is it that sets a pair of socks apart, as novelty socks rather than just woolly footwear with silly pictures on? On the far end of the scale, novelty socks are obvious: they have separated toes, like foot-gloves; raised patterns; silly grips; or they’re even shaped like stuff other than feet. Though of course when one gets to the shaped-sock phenomenon, one feels one is talking more about slippers than novelty socks. Still. At the outré end of the scale, I think we can agree that novelty socks are fairly easy to spot. Step back towards the merely patterned, though, and one has to repeat the question: just what are novelty socks?
Christmas isn’t coming but that doesn’t mean it can’t be time to get out those novelty socks again. Easter’s on its’ way, for starters – and if ever there was an excuse to break out novelty socks shaped like bunnies/cute little chickies/our Lord (there are, believe it or not, secular novelty socks out there), this time is that time. And don’t forget either that with the World Cup bearing down on our collective self like an over-enthusiastic lorry driver, it’ll soon be time to whip out your footie-oriented novelty socks, too. An exercise, if ever there was one, in the triumph of hope over experience. Though one never knows. Your novelty socks cold become your lucky socks and then where will you be? Forcing yourself to wear a pair of unwashed Alan Hansen-shaped woollies on your feet for every game. Ah, the joys of footballing superstition.
Anyway. Where were we? Ah yes: novelty socks. Novelty socks probably rocketed to sock stardom in the 80s, when hilarious ties were all the rage with office workers who wanted everyone to think their jobs were fun. The logical next step (particularly for the sartorially conscious, for whom the idea of wearing mismatched sock and tie) was of course novelty socks. If you’re going to wear a kipper-shaped piece of silk embossed with the smiling face of Fred Flintstone to a high-end board meeting, you might as well complete the look with matching Dino and Bam-Bam novelty socks.
